absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
