JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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