i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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