I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
