Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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