People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
