i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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