is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
