The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
