I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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