sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
