yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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