I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
