Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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