he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
