i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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