my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I touched a dick in church today
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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