I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
