Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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