Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
