True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i came on her dog
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
