Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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