weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
