i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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