my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
