She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
