He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
