Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
