I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize