I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm bleeding and have questions
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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