I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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