we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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