Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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