I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
