capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
