ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
