clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
