Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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