The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
