Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
