yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
