Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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