i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
