Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
