I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
