We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
