Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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