I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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