but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
