I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
