For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
