ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
