i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He called his prostate his "boner button".
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
