erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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