I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
