therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm at about main and main street
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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