3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
