peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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