i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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