speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
