everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
