glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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