did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize