you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
